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When Does Positivity Turn Toxic?

Tutor Jean

When Does Positivity Turn Toxic?
 
If you are someone who's trying to explain this to a kid, trying to be more culture than understand society, better.
And she goes, who are you, and what is toxic positivity mean, how do I not apply it in everyday life?
 
Then, if you would ask me what I think toxic positivity is when things going really bad already, and you just decide to forget all the bad and concentrate specifically on what's positive, it's just like focusing on one and that's it.
 
But let me just clear first my side, I am not a fan of toxic positivity and I think all of us focus on the positive highlight of others without knowing or seeing the whole thing. 
 
Let's face it, that most of us are trying to promote positivity in everything but I think we should be aware and give the equal right amount of attention to the negativity that is around us as well. Because if you can't focus on what is the negative, you can't improve that.
 
So for me, Toxic positivity is turning a blind eye.
Negatively just to be able to have a positive mind, that's toxic positivity. 
And that's how you differentiate TOXIC POSITIVITY from POSITIVITY and here's how you differentiate the two:
 
-POSITIVITY is acknowledging everything first before offering up a silver lining.
Examples: Non-Toxic Alternatives
I'm listening.
I'm here no matter what.
That must be really hard.
Sometimes bad things happen. How can I help?
Failure is sometimes part of life.
Your feelings are valid.

-TOXIC POSITIVITY disregards the negative feelings of the other person.
Examples: Toxic Statements
Just stay positive!
Good vibes only!
It could be worse.
Things happen for a reason.
Failure isn't an option.
Happiness is a choice.
 
For me, here's how I try to handle the both sides
 
First, you have to understand that some people use positive activities as a coping mechanism, YES. Also, it's a telltale sign of their own anxiety and their own. 
 
Second, we're all standing on a certain level of privilege. Not one hopes or deals with trials and situations to the same ways that we do. 
 
Lastly, the most difficult part is as human beings. We have a tendency to always expect other people to live the life that we want to live.
And the way that I see this thing is, that we "people" always give others the benefit of the doubt. 
Understand that some don't know how to properly deal with situation that's already dire and they just go on and say "No no everything is okay" and yay, that line can make other people feel better but also don't forget to think where they are coming from and try to put yourself in their shoes.
 
 
So for all the people reading this,
REMEMBER this: Toxic positivity is often subtle, and we’ve all engaged in this type of thinking at one point or another. By learning to recognize it, however, you’ll be better able to rid yourself of this type of thinking and provide (and receive) more authentic support when you are going through something that isn’t easy.
 

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This column was published by the author in their personal capacity.
The opinions expressed in this column are the author's own and do not reflect the view of Cafetalk.

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