Sometimes we are apart from others and have no or little social interaction. How we feel about this has a lot to do with our values, beliefs, personality, and perception of the world.

There are some people who are never lonely, even when they are alone. They experience solitude, the experience of being alone but without any negative feelings. They can get lost in their own imagination and activities and enjoy being on their own.  

But most people need to socially interact with others to avoid feeling lonely, that painful feeling of wanting to interact with others but not having the opportunity to do so or feeling cut off from being part of a bigger group.
It is not enough to interact with others: the interactions have to validate us as people and make us feel valued. A person can be in the middle of a sea of people, but if no one notices or is willing to speak to the person or interact with him, that person can still feel lonely.

Prolonged loneliness can impact people’s health, leading to depression, an increased risk of heart disease and stroke or other health problems.

The first step in dealing with loneliness is to realize that it is a normal part of being human: that pain of not being with others is exactly what has encouraged humans to come together in groups, living and working together to survive better than we would have as lone individuals. If you feel lonely, acknowledge it, and realize that you are not the only one who feels that way. Have compassion for yourself as you would for a friend.

Sometimes traumatic life events, like the death of a loved one or a divorce, can lead to people feeling lonely, even when they are among people who care for them. In such cases, it is important for the individual to go through the different stages of the grieving process, while maintaining contact with their friends and supporters.

Changing how one perceives the isolation while at the same time finding ways to reconnect with other people are steps towards reducing the loneliness.

Solution-focused counseling can offer individuals a means of understanding the particular causes of their loneliness and identifying ways to reduce the loneliness, find happiness, and improve their lives.

In my “Change Your Mindset” class, I offer solution-focused counseling for people experiencing loneliness or any other life challenges which they wish to overcome. I would be glad to talk with you and help you find the strength to make positive changes in your outlook and life.

Photos from pixabay.com